Dementia times two

My father passed away from Alzheimer's in 2017 at age 93. It was a tough to see and watch as he went through the classic stages of denial, aggressiveness / violence, depression and eventually his mind vanished altogether and he simply wasted away in what was pretty much a vegetable state. Now my mother at age 92 is headed down the same path and I have had to move her into Assisted Living this past week (yes, I've been out of the store here and there dealing with this). She's even more unsettled than he was and flies into fits of rage / anger / depression. "Classic Dementia with Behavioral Disturbances" as the Doctor says. And of course, she is furious at me for moving her into that facility. I'm better prepared this second time as experience is a good teacher and I know how to deflect the rage and temper tantrums through redirection.

The thought has occured to me that given my gene pool with both of them having it, I'll probably get it as well should I live as long. I hope I don't because if nothing else it's incredibly costly and no insurance pays for it. $ 8,500 a month for my Mother and it will eventually go $ 11,000, all out of pocket.

Two things I will pass on to those that have not experienced it with their parents.

1) It's critical you have Power of Attorney for financial and medical decisions. This is SO important. Make sure you have one if your parents are alive. In fact, make one for yourself and give it to one of your kids. (I must do this myself). It's every bit as important or even more so than a Will.

2) As a responsible adult child, YOU have to make the decision and sooner is better than later. There's a tendency to have a guilty conscience and/or be blamed by know-nothings who say "you put your parent away". Get past that point and look at it as doing what is in the best interest of your parent as a person. Then don't waver in your decision or be put off my comments others may make.

And if you have questions about Dementia, I can answer those here on the forum as well - I'm getting far too much experience with this disease.