A comment from one of my customers last week.

Shopping H&M leather as couple, any of you who have been married a long time know that negotiations and compromise are part of it. Often he likes one chair (usually the Austin High Back Tilt Chair # 2038NB) and she has a style in mind that the chair he picked out doesn't work with very well. After the husband stepped outside for a bit, she asked me how 'bad' that chair he picked will look with what she wants.

I said "It's not the best pick, but not the worst, either. What's most important to you?"

And she said "I have a vision of how I wanted this room to look - but that's the chair he wants and that's the chair he is going to get. He's worked hard for so many years and supported our family, he deserves to have what he likes, he's earned it"

That, to me, was the perfect response to that small dilemma. That is a successful marriage in my book.

My wife has not one lick of design in her body. So she defaults to me on the choices when it comes to things like curtains, paint colors and furniture (unless it is a piece that she absolutely loves). She trusts that the research i have done is going to be good enough to ensure that what I guide her into trusting me on will be a worthwhile purchase (I guess when you are the one that saves the $$$ and makes the purchases from your own account, that helps too :) ).
But I envy that comment...that is a win-win in my book. I don't know that either of us would think that above looking at the financial aspects of a purchase at this stage in our lives. Maybe in 15-20 years when we are closer to retirement age...

This has been an ongoing battle with my other half. He is colorblind and his tastes lean towards "giant beanbag from college" if given the opportunity. Haven't quite reached the proper solution yet!

Edit: I have to say though, I see that "my husband/your father is the breadwinner, so he makes the decisions/his needs come first" approach all too often in the community where I live, where it actually becomes too lopsided.