A little story about giving, and getting back.

Today I got one of the biggest surprises of my life, about 11:00 a.m. this morning. It just blew me away...in a good way. My head was spinning the rest of the afternoon!

First a little background.

I've been a BMW car guy for many years, and back in the early days of the internet we had active email lists which have gradually been replaced by forums like this one. We BMW guys swapped stories, learned tech tips from one another and in general had a grand old cyber-time. One of my internet pals was/is a Emergency Room Physician in Denver Colorado, Dr. Keith Battan. He and I bonded up over the internet and have seen each other many times over the years, and are still pals today (we have identical motorcycles and pickup trucks, some say we're twins separated at birth).

One day Keith sent me an email. He had a really bad day at work. The Fire Dept had brought in two accident victims, a little boy named Alex (age 7) and his sister Kori (age 8). The Jeep CJ5 they were riding end was rear-ended at a stop sign by a drunk driver and the Jeep exploded into a fireball, killing their mother instantly. Alex was severely burned in the fire, his sister much less so. Keith has seen a lot of things come through the Children's Hospital ER but this was the worst in his career, and it tore a hole in his heart for him to be the one to explain to Kori that their mother had died (Alex was in no shape to hear anything). The Father could not be located for several days and they could not find any next of kin. Something in Keith's email got hold of me...and I decided to do something for these kids and of course (as my wife tells me) when I set my mind to something I always go over the top with it. I decided to raise some money for these kids. I'd never done this before, but hey - a salesman is a salesman right? How hard can it be? I asked all the BMW guys on the mail list to send me some money for a fund for these kids. And then I lined up some raffle items. Here's one of many posts I made back in 1999.

http://www.digest.net/bmw/archive/v7/msg16706.html

I thought that maybe we could raise $ 5,000. That would be really good. The father of the kids was a loser, and wanted no part of the kids, but the hospital found the grandparents in California who were retired and living on social security in a rental apartment. They had no money. I got the $ 5K, then wanted to raise more, so I worked harder. $ 10K came in, then $ 15K, then $ 18K which far exceeded what I thought we could do! We had a national BMW Car Club Annual Event call Oktoberfest, and in 1999 it was in Indianapolis. So I got the Hilton Convention hotel where we were all staying to comp a room for the weekend, we gathered up all the air miles from United airlines that we could and talked United into letting them bulk them for four R/T Tickets and we flew the kids and grandparents in for the long weekend. Alex had terrible burns, crusted over, but he was a game little guy and the kids were the stars of the weekend. They got to ride around the track events in a BMW motorcycle Sidecar and some of the antique BMW Isettas, and we got our final total to $ 22,500 to give to the grandparents, in cash. Wow...more than I ever dreamed we could raise. The grandparents were very grateful, they had no extra money and suddenly found themselves raising two young ones and Alex would need a lot of care with his burns.

After that event in 1999, we touched base once or twice via letter, and then they faded away. From time to time someone would ask "How are the kids we helped, ever hear from them?" And I would say "No, not in a long time".

That all changed this morning. At 11:00 a.m they walked into my store. I didn't recognize them of course, it had been eleven years since I had seen them. But when they introduced themselves I had to catch my breath! I was speechless (and I'm NEVER speechless..lol). They had found me by searching my name on Google. But there was Alex, now 18 and Cori, 19 years old and Evelyn the Grandmother in my store, so many years since we did the fundraiser for them. I asked what brought them to Washington DC? They said "Because you were here and we wanted to come see you." Simple as that. And they drove a car here from Riverside, California. DROVE!!! And so here they were.....taking the summer off and seeing America and deciding that I was the East Coast destination. We sat down in the store and talked for three, maybe four hours straight.

Kori is now 19, and she dropped out of High School, but is back working on her G.E.D. and is off to Community College soon. Alex just graduated high school and will go to college to study mechanical engineering - he tells me he's a real car guy. So I told him that if they want to go West through Nashville, I will call pal David Yando up and get them a VIP tour of Lane Motor Museum. Both play in the top-rated Riverside Marching Band and are going to England in December to march/play in the New Year's celebration parade as part of the band.

Alex is shy and wears a ball cap low on his head to cover the burns. I told him they looked like they were healed nicely and said "I have scars too", and told him of my 16" belly cut from the cancer operation. He was impressed, and took off his hat and showed me all of his. He wears his hair forward, but there is nothing but scar tissue on the sides and back and a healed hole he had in his skull. It was a good moment of mutual understanding of pain and suffering.

When we were all talked out they were off to see downtown Washington DC. Evelyn lost her husband 2 years ago, he dropped dead right in front of her she told me. So its just her and the kids. But they bought a house with the money we raised for them so they will always have a place to live.

They didn't forget what all of us did for them so many years ago, it made my day, probably my whole month actually!.....we even took a photo!

In the years since, we have made it a tradition to help someone in need every year on our little BMW car club list of fifty or so. The guys look forward to it and we just all kick in and raise some money. Last Christmas it was for an old woman in France one of our guys heard about from a mutual friend. She had no money, her car was broken and she had to turn the heat off, She could not even drive into the village to get groceries. Too proud to ask for money, she asked for some food from her neighbor. Well, we got wind up that and (being car guys) had her car towed to the local garage and repaired, contacted the oil guy and set her up with heating oil for the rest of the year, and had $ 1,000 left over for her to stock her pantry with groceries. Try doing all that from the USA via phone! She cried and cried when we did all that and send us a beautiful letter of thanks that ended with "I have always heard that Americans were a most generous people, but I never knew how much they would reach out to help and old woman far aways they never had met, nor likely ever will."

Today was a REALLY good day for me. And if you called the store today to talk to me about furniture and got the voice mail from 11 a.m to 3 p.m., I hope you can forgive me and understand why....there were more important things goin' on .....:o

Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

Duane... you are a class act. Thanks for making my morning. I don't have a BMW, but maybe this forum can become a community that finds ways to help each other by helping others. I belong to another forum whose members grew up on the south side of Syracuse, NY. in the 50' 60's and early 70's. We have been sharing memories for about 3 years now (about 4000 posts). Every year we raise enough in donations to sponsor 2 little league teams in our old neighborhood (it has since become a very depressed section of the city and the little league has difficulty with fund raising). So why not start a new element of this site to inspire and maybe formally do some good works. How about "paying it forward" as a new section name. We could discuss individual activities, inspire each other to make an impact in helping others and maybe with enough interest take on a project to support and help others in need.

Beautiful story and you and your BMW buddies are definitely angels in your own right. You brought tears to my eyes...there should be more out there like you!

Its a good thing to be able to do things for folks fallen on hard times and is especially meaningful at Christmas.

In 2002 we as a group bought a year-old Ford Taurus for a NYC Fireman who was in the Twin Towers on 09/11. Half of his Company died that day (Ladder 3) and it really shook him up. His old car blew its engine, he lived out on the Island, and couldn't get to work. He was just tapped out financially and didn't meet any organization's standard for aid. There was no 'fund' for the FDNY guys that survived and had to go on with their lives. He was taking a taxi to work at Ladder 3! Jerry was in tears when we delivered the car to him saying he 'didn't deserve it'.... but we thought he did.

In 2004, we had the wife of one of our guys (she is an Elementary school teacher in Washington state) ask if we could buy some new blue jeans for two of her nicest and most polite students because the other kids made fun of their old clothes and maybe some books they wanted, and if we could help to get the family car running (cost to repair was $ 1,500 or so). Their father had been killed a few weeks earlier when he got out of the car when it broke down and was walking to get help. Their mother needed some way to get to work or else she would lose her job as a housecleaner. They lived in the country in a trailer and had no savings. Could we maybe raise some cash? (see one of the emails from Connie, which I've kept as a printout). Well, we called the dealership where the car was, it was so old and needed so much work (220K miles on a Saturn) that we thought it not worth fixing. So we really got going on this one and bought the family a brand new Chevrolet Cavalier with the help of Bruce Titus Chevrolet in Seattle, WA who knocked the price WAY down for us on a leftover 2003. We filled the car with new blue jeans and flannel shirts, all the books and even a new XBOX 360 and a dozen games, Scooby-Doo, soccer balls & shin guards, and had Connie-the-teacher and her husband (BMW pal Jan) drive them to the dealership on Christmas Eve on pretense of going to lunch with the family. The dealership and local news channels really got into it and had the car all festooned with ribbons on the showroom floor. And we prepaid the car insurance for two years, too. Huge surprise. It was a big hit. Not a dry eye in dealership I was told...the boys nearly burst with excitement.

Its just something we like to do, and we are only 60 to 75 strong. Most of us are fortunate enough to own homes and a luxury car and iPhones and have decent jobs. Every year we try to reach out to someone who is down on their luck. We don't have any formal organization or charitable tax status or even accountability, most the guys send me the money via PayPal and I do the logistics and planning most years (some years one of the other guys will do it). We reach out to people down on their luck that have nothing and don't ask for help and turn their world around, if only for a little bit. Its a good feeling, really puts a little bounce in your step when it all comes together after weeks of hard work. I've heard the criticisms over what we do as well, such as "Why help just one person, or one family when there are so many in need? How can you justify it?" My response to them is always the same and I quote an old Chinese proverb: "Better to Light One Candle than Curse the Darkness". And if they can't figure that out, then they really don't have a clue.

Could we do something like that here? I've thought about it...but I'm not sure we have enough 'community' to make it work. Not yet. This is still mostly a Q&A forum, with only a handful of regulars. Most come here to get answers, or buy furniture, then fade away. It takes the pull of a community to make these little 'projects' happen, with everyone working together, dividing work loads, and trusting one another and aiming for the common goal. We'll see how the forum develops over time, I guess. It all depends on what the forum members would like to do!

Duane, you are a man with integrity. There is nothing more that I respect in a person than that. Please know that my offer still stands if you ever want a little vacation in Western Maryland.

Judy

What an incredible story. It's good to hear stories like this especially because they give hope that there are still good and generous people in the world. Thanks for sharing, Duane.